I am not going to create another moniker for this,i owe no one nothing!
I have spent most of my life single. I tried linking up with people but to no avail. Why? I will not do the blame game here. Is all my fault. I meet someone, get heed over heels for the person but I lose interest easily. When it comes to commitment, when the friendship is to get to the next level I ghost them. I don’t know why. At best out of the blue I lose interest and become blank, not returning calls or replying messages, at worst I become disgusted at the fellow for no reason at all then move one to the next male friend. Nothing serious comes out of it…
So I decided to give up trying. My female friends and I go on an outing, some guys approach us and get our numbers. Months (sometimes years) later they are still waxing strong with the males, one of them even got married to one of them. But me? After a couple of weeks I find myself having to ghost the guy that I was head over heels for.
I gave up on love and chose to be single. I have been single for years now.
I met this guy march this year,we bonded like never before. I have never in my entire life felt like this before. It is so strange that each conversation we have all seems anew like we are starting all over.
It’s almost ten months and the fire is still intense.
I have never had such a long friendship with a male. People assume we are dating. He gives me so much JOY… He is so awesome, different from all the others i have known. He changed me.
I just figured out i want to end the friendship, I don’t know why. I am tired. I want to walk away. The passion is still there but i want to be away. I wanted to get a new SIM but my conscience will not. What has kept me from doing this is because i wonder how he will feel..
I want to walk away. Will i regret this?